Do you remember Henry Fonda and Katherine
Hepburn’s moving portrayal of Norman and Ethel, an elderly couple trying to
deal with the realities of getting old, in the wonderful movie On Golden Pond?
Norman: “You want to know why I came back so fast? I
got to the end of our lane. I couldn't remember where the old town road was. There
was nothing familiar. Not one damn tree. Scared me half to death. That's why I came
running back here to you. So I could see your pretty face and I could feel safe
and that I was still me.”
Ethel: “You're
safe, you old poop and you're definitely still you. After lunch, we'll take
ourselves to the old town road. We've been there a thousand times. A thousand.
And you'll remember it all. Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining
armour. Don't you forget it.”
If you have loved ones who are in need of
help in their daily living, the first thing you need to understand is that it
is frightening for them as they feel they are starting to lose their very
essence of themselves. It is important to listen and acknowledge their
concerns.
It is best to start discussions early
rather than waiting for a crisis. Consider who the loved one has traditionally
listened to the most. Alternatively, consider engaging an objective
professional.
Starting early allows you to start slow and
be patient. It provides the opportunity to really dive into what your elderly
loved ones are feeling so you can understand how best to help them.
The most common concerns are often about giving
up driving and getting help around the house with shopping, cooking and
cleaning – things they could always do for themselves. Reassure them that they
can get help “on a trial basis”. Be sure to make it clear that basic support
can help ensure they maintain their independence for as long as possible.
Visit
www.SOSsitter.ca for many more blog posts about seniors, caregiving and living
as a family!
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