As the holidays fast approach, and we busy ourselves with the activity of the season, I wonder about those seniors that are shut ins, frail, disabled or don't have family and friends to connect with. Sometimes we get so caught up in the holidays, shopping, cooking and family time that we forget that there are so many who don't have the opportunity to experience or enjoy these things we take for granted simply becuase of circumstance. for many seniors, the holidays can bring isolation, depression and related health issues. It can be a time when you feel your losses the most as we all tend to think back to happier times with those we have lost.
So what can we do to help? If you know a senior in your community or network, stop by and ask what they are doing for the holidays. If it seems that they are alone and isloated, invite them to share in your own celebrations or those happening in your/their community. If they can't leave their home, offer to provide a meal for the holidays. If you have a senior relative that lives far away, see if you can use technology to connect with them. Do they have a computer that you can skype them on? If not, a phone call will suffice. It's feeling that sense of connection and caring that they may yearn for most. Even if you dont know a senior or are not close to anyone that is alone and isolated, you can still make a difference in someone's life. Visit your local retirement home or nursing home during the holidays and spend some time visiting with people who do not have family. With the major focus on commercialism and the physical act of 'gift giving' we often lose sight fo the fact that the gift of companionship and friendship is the most valuable thing you can give someone else.
Monday, 17 December 2018
Monday, 3 December 2018
The Retirement Cruiser
As our regulars know, I often write about different and innovative retirement living options. I'm always interested in what's current and where things seem to be going when it comes to seniors housing. The other day I read about a man who has taken something that until now, I considered a 'chain email' concept, and turned it into his reality. I'm certain many of our readers have received that email that talks about how its cheaper to live on a cruise ship than in a retirement home .... it shows up in my inbox at least once a year .... well, there is a fellow who decided to make a cruise ship home more than a dozen years ago. He is mentally alert, fairly healthy, in his 90's, widowed and almost fully blind. He has a home in Florida which he uses to store his belongings but rarely goes there. He spends his days cruising around and staying on the ship with staff who know him well and cater to all of his needs. The article didn't indicate the cost involved or how the cruise company agreed to this arrangement (or if there is a 'out-clause' if his needs exceed what they are able to do) but it did get me thinking about the viability of such an arrangement.
Clearly, it only works because he is independent. Like most retirement homes, he gets his meals, housekeeping services and entertainment. He mostly interacts with staff who attend to him as required. But beyond them, he has no lasting relationships. His kids visit when he docks in their city's port but he doesn't have an opportunity to socialize with people of his age and stage. If he gets too sick to be looked after by the crew, he will have to be relocated. I do wonder how that scenario would play out.
As someone who loves cruising, I understand the desire to vacation on a cruise ship. However, after a week on board, maximum 10 days, I am anxious for land, and home. I cannot understand, wanting to retire full-time on a boat, cut off from everyone but the crew. From a practical perspective, or maybe its a social work perspective, I see red flags everywhere in a situation like this and I remain convinced that a retirement home is a far better setting for someone in their 90's who needs a bit of assistance. And as a family member, I would not want an elderly loved one, at sea for years. I wonder what led him to make this choice and why he considers it preferable to living in a retirement setting with the potential for more amenities and care and in close proximity to his friends and family. I suspect there is more to this story than the brief interview I read and am left with more questions than answers to this retirement option.
As our readers know, there are many different housing opportunities for seniors - and many new and innovative ones coming soon - but I hope living on a cruise ship is one that will not become popular anytime soon. I think, in retirement, one needs to consider several things when making decisions around relocation including proximity to health care and hospitals, family and friends and amenities and care required, now and in the future. And I know that there are many retirement settings that can provide a much better quality of life than living on a ship. In fact, there are many people I have talked to who have described a retirement home as a 'cruise ship on land'.
So, if you are an avid cruiser and are considering this option when you get that chain email in your inbox, before really considering it, check out a retirement home; go for a visit, try a meal, stay for a week and see if you like it. Consider your proximity to family and friends, the care you will get now and what you can get in the future if your needs change. I hope you will look at the many options out there in your community and beyond before making a cruise ship your permanent retirement destination..........
Clearly, it only works because he is independent. Like most retirement homes, he gets his meals, housekeeping services and entertainment. He mostly interacts with staff who attend to him as required. But beyond them, he has no lasting relationships. His kids visit when he docks in their city's port but he doesn't have an opportunity to socialize with people of his age and stage. If he gets too sick to be looked after by the crew, he will have to be relocated. I do wonder how that scenario would play out.
As someone who loves cruising, I understand the desire to vacation on a cruise ship. However, after a week on board, maximum 10 days, I am anxious for land, and home. I cannot understand, wanting to retire full-time on a boat, cut off from everyone but the crew. From a practical perspective, or maybe its a social work perspective, I see red flags everywhere in a situation like this and I remain convinced that a retirement home is a far better setting for someone in their 90's who needs a bit of assistance. And as a family member, I would not want an elderly loved one, at sea for years. I wonder what led him to make this choice and why he considers it preferable to living in a retirement setting with the potential for more amenities and care and in close proximity to his friends and family. I suspect there is more to this story than the brief interview I read and am left with more questions than answers to this retirement option.
As our readers know, there are many different housing opportunities for seniors - and many new and innovative ones coming soon - but I hope living on a cruise ship is one that will not become popular anytime soon. I think, in retirement, one needs to consider several things when making decisions around relocation including proximity to health care and hospitals, family and friends and amenities and care required, now and in the future. And I know that there are many retirement settings that can provide a much better quality of life than living on a ship. In fact, there are many people I have talked to who have described a retirement home as a 'cruise ship on land'.
So, if you are an avid cruiser and are considering this option when you get that chain email in your inbox, before really considering it, check out a retirement home; go for a visit, try a meal, stay for a week and see if you like it. Consider your proximity to family and friends, the care you will get now and what you can get in the future if your needs change. I hope you will look at the many options out there in your community and beyond before making a cruise ship your permanent retirement destination..........
Friday, 2 November 2018
Where do you want to live at 80 or 90?
Many people, simply do not think about what they want for themselves when the time comes that they cannot live alone. For many, moving into a care home becomes something that happens in a crisis when options are limited and in some cases, when someone else decides for you. People rarely think about one day needing care or support. And few people choose to relocate to a care setting when they are healthy and/or young seniors. So, I'm always fascinated when I read about people who think outside the box when it comes to senior housing and what they want for themselves 20 or 30 years down the road.
A few days ago a read about two couples (who are in their 50's/60s) in Toronto who decided to create their own co-housing opportunity to share with a few other couples. Intent on aging in place and avoiding loniliness, isolation and potentially, institutionalization, these two couples have bought a house they are renovating that will house up to 12 people with private space for each and shared common areas. They have legally incorporated their company, created rules for their living situation and thought through the financial implications for those wishing to buy in to their venture. They even hosted a workshop to explain their concept to interested and potential house-mates.
The idea of co-housing is not new. It's popular in parts of Europe and the USA. There are a few communities in Canada (primarily in BC) but Ontario has been slow to follow. That being said, in the next several years, it will be interesting to see how the concept develops and moves throughout the country as our aging poplulation starts looking for alternatives to institutionalization and our public system has trouble coping with the increasing need for seniors' housing.
Co-housing fosters interdependence, a caring support network and a shared-care opportunity decreasing the burden on a stressed public system. As the boomer generation starts thinking about how they want to live during their senior years, after witnessing their parents generations' options, I do believe that innovation will be rampant and we will start seeing more viable and beneficial housing options (like this one) for seniors come to fruition.
A few days ago a read about two couples (who are in their 50's/60s) in Toronto who decided to create their own co-housing opportunity to share with a few other couples. Intent on aging in place and avoiding loniliness, isolation and potentially, institutionalization, these two couples have bought a house they are renovating that will house up to 12 people with private space for each and shared common areas. They have legally incorporated their company, created rules for their living situation and thought through the financial implications for those wishing to buy in to their venture. They even hosted a workshop to explain their concept to interested and potential house-mates.
The idea of co-housing is not new. It's popular in parts of Europe and the USA. There are a few communities in Canada (primarily in BC) but Ontario has been slow to follow. That being said, in the next several years, it will be interesting to see how the concept develops and moves throughout the country as our aging poplulation starts looking for alternatives to institutionalization and our public system has trouble coping with the increasing need for seniors' housing.
Co-housing fosters interdependence, a caring support network and a shared-care opportunity decreasing the burden on a stressed public system. As the boomer generation starts thinking about how they want to live during their senior years, after witnessing their parents generations' options, I do believe that innovation will be rampant and we will start seeing more viable and beneficial housing options (like this one) for seniors come to fruition.
Monday, 22 October 2018
The Forever Bond
Childhood
memories vivid but fleeting….
The warmth of her
embrace.
The sound of her
laughter.
Her full-body
‘giggle’.
The smell of her
cooking,
mingled with
cigarettes.
The hunch in her
back.
The touch of her
hands,
crippled with age.
Daily
visits…..
watching soap
operas;
eating soft-boiled
eggs for breakfast,
and spumoni ice
cream for dessert;
April Fool’s jokes;
stories from The
National Enquirer;
and our annual
viewing of the Wizard of Oz.
A constant
through childhood.
A safe haven in
her arms.
When
did it begin?
She looked the
same but really wasn't.
When
was…..
the moment that
her memories began to fade;
the hour when no
one was familiar;
the day when she
ceased to be the person I knew.
Was there
fear? Anguish? Or passive acceptance?
If
I knew then, what I know now…..
Would it have
made a difference?
Would I, or she,
have done things differently?
Or said things
left unspoken?
An unconditional
acceptance and love like no other,
gone over time
and in an instant.
©
Esther Goldstein, 2018
Friday, 21 September 2018
Planning Ahead
If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will know that the key to maximizing your choices as you get older, is being proactive. It is far too common for people to wait for a crisis or significant hospitalization before considering issues around care and relocation. For many, this constitutes 'waiting too long' and they end up in a situation or place they would not have chosen. Often, if they had taken the time to discuss options well in advance and preplan, their transition from independent to requiring care, would have been easier and far less stressful for everyone involved.
For many, there is a stigma mixed with denial when it comes to discussing aging and the need for support and care. Most do not consider what they would want in an 'ideal world' or what they will need financially when the time comes. It is always the hope that we won't need care and can live in our homes unassited until the end. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case.
For those independent seniors who have not thought about these important issues but wish to be proactive, there are questions you may want to consider to help you determine if you need to start thinking about options.
For many, there is a stigma mixed with denial when it comes to discussing aging and the need for support and care. Most do not consider what they would want in an 'ideal world' or what they will need financially when the time comes. It is always the hope that we won't need care and can live in our homes unassited until the end. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case.
For those independent seniors who have not thought about these important issues but wish to be proactive, there are questions you may want to consider to help you determine if you need to start thinking about options.
• Are there stairs in your home (either inside or to get inside)?
• If yes, are you having difficulty with going up or down the stairs?
• If yes, are you having difficulty with going up or down the stairs?
• Do you need help with any household tasks (laundry, cleaning, shopping,
etc.)?
• Do you or your spouse need help with any personal care (bathing,
dressing etc.)?
• Are you able to prepare nutritious meals for yourself?
• Do you have a yard/yard work/outside maintenance?
• Who does your repairs inside/outside your house?
• Do you have people who can assist
you with any of the above issues now or in the future or, if you do not,
can you afford to pay people to assist with any personal care or household
tasks?
• If you already have people assisting you:
• Are you happy with the service they are providing?
• Do they provide enough to meet your needs?
• Can they provide more if you need it?
• Is the cost affordable?
• Are you on a lot of medications?
• If yes, are you able to keep track of when you need to take them?
• If yes, are you able to keep track of when you need to take them?
• How do you get around (drive, cab, transit, family assistance)?
• Are you walking distance to important amenities (doctor, dentist,
pharmacy, grocery store, etc.)?
• Do you require any assistive devices to help you to function?
• Do you have any safety concerns?
• Has your family indicated that they have concerns about your living
situation/safety?
• How is your hearing?
• How is your sight?
• Are you forgetful?
• Do you have any significant medical issues which require assistance or
may in the near future?
• Do you feel isolated/lonely or scared at certain times of day/night?
• Do you get out every day/almost every day or are you always home?
• Do you have hobbies?
• Are you able to manage your finances?
• Do you ask for help when you need it?
• Do you have a support network, friends or family nearby and available?
• If not, would you like to move closer to family/friends?
• If not, would you like to move closer to family/friends?
Answering these questions
honestly can serve as a ‘conversation starter’ as they will help you to focus
in on the type of support you might need currently or, in the near future.
While a few potential or minor issues may not be problematic, several might be,
and may suggest a need to begin considering resources.
If, after thinking/talking
about your current situation and (potential) concerns with your loved ones, it
seems that in the somewhat near future, you might need either additional help
in your own home or to relocate to a place where there are more supports to
enable you to remain independent, it may be time to start looking at the
options available to you based on your current financial, physical and social
situation. Discuss any concerns you have with your family and your doctor, so
they can assist you in locating supports in your area. It is better to begin doing your
research and discussing what your desires are with your family before you
need the help and most certainly, before a crisis forces the issue and limits
available options.
Friday, 31 August 2018
Caring for the Caregiver
Our
ever-changing world has altered the way we do so many things – including caring
for our elderly. For many families, children live great distances from their
parents. Most women work in jobs outside of the home and even in cultures where
the custom of the past had been to have multi-generational families living
under one roof and caring for each other, this is becoming less feasible.
Caregiving for elder loved ones is something many people now do from a distance
or among several other daily responsibilities. The ‘sandwich generation’ is
common place with many caring for both parents and children at the same time. Caregiving
can be so overwhelming at times that it can negatively effect one’s emotional
and physical well being which in turn impacts the care of the senior in need.
Without
doubt, the key to avoiding such difficulties is for the caregiver to ‘care’ for
themselves as much as their loved ones. This, of course, is much easier said
than done. How do you do this when you feel as if you are being pulled in a
million different directions?
If
you are in this situation, there are several things you can do that may help
you navigate and cope with this often unexpected and somewhat daunting role:
1.
Communicate – make sure you speak to medical personnel about concerns or issues.
Ensure you have the facts. Create a support network of family, friends and
others that you can talk with about your feelings and needs. Remember –
avoiding or negating problems does not make them go away – it only compounds
them. Let you employer know your situation as well. There may be available
support groups, Employee Assistance Programs or paid family leave options
available to you.
2.
Educate yourself – knowledge can only empower you. Fear is often based on not
knowing. Ask questions so you can understand the situation. With the technological
tools of the 21st century, finding out information is as easy as sitting
in front of your computer. Seek out information about your loved one’s medical
condition and the options available. This will aid you in planning for the
future as much as possible. Know your rights and theirs. If you are providing
physical care, ensure you learn how to do this safely.
3. Ask
for and accept help – sharing responsibilities is often difficult but extremely
necessary for the caregiver as much as the recipient of care. Use available
community resources – there may be day programs, respite care options,
homemaking and a host of other services available to you. Good care can be provided by others besides
the immediate family and getting this important relief is often as simple as
asking for help. Keep in mind that people don’t know what you need unless you
ask for it. Learn to delegate tasks to those willing to assist be it family
members or friends.
4.
Stress Management – acknowledge your feelings. It is okay to feel overwhelmed,
sad, anxious and a host of other emotions. Learn to recognize the things that
trigger a stress reaction in you and what that reaction is. It’s important to
keep in mind that while you may not be able to change a situation, you can
decide how you will react and respond to it. Learn the signs of ‘caregiver
burnout’ and if you think you might be experiencing it or if your physical
health or functioning is being affected, speak to your doctor or a trained
mental health professional as soon as possible. Learning relaxation techniques
may be helpful as well.
5.
Life Balance – prioritize, prioritize, prioritize! Organization is the key to
feeling a sense of control over your situation. Accept the good with the bad.
Look after yourself. Eat properly, exercise, sleep and take breaks when needed.
It’s okay to do things for yourself. Don’t self-medicate. Learn to say ‘no’.
Don’t expect too much of yourself. Caregiving is a learning process so allow
yourself to make mistakes. Know your limits and deal with stress before crisis
hits. Seek medical attention if you are ill. Consider joining a support group
for those with similar struggles. You may hear valuable helpful information
from others who have been where you are but also, knowing that you are not
alone can help you cope.
As
difficult as caregiving can be, it also has the potential to be very rewarding.
How it impacts us has everything to do with our ability to deal with the ups
and downs of daily life and our attitude. Finding the ‘silver lining’, having
realistic goals, sharing special moments and finding enjoyment in simple
pleasures can contribute tremendously to how we cope and manage what can be one
of the more challenging roles in our lives.
Friday, 17 August 2018
GUEST POST - 6 Ways Technology Helps Family Caregivers
The wealth of online
resources makes it possible for almost anyone to gather a great deal of
information about medical problems and treatment on her own. Pew reports that just under 3 out of 4 caregivers conduct
their own health research online and over half engage in health-related social
activity online.
It’s clear that the
transformative power of technology in health care extends beyond high-tech
hospital settings to include everyday senior and hospice care. Read on to learn
about 6 tech trends that help family caregivers support the health and quality
of life of seniors and others under their supervision.
1. Med Monitors
A number of digital tools,
such as MedMinder and TabSafe, are designed to remind seniors and caregivers to
take or administer prescription medication. And the same functionality is
available on the go with apps for iPhone and iPad like MedCoach.
2. Wireless Safety Nets
Another way to monitor a senior’s health and wellness status,
while helping them lead active and independent lives, is via sensor-based home
monitoring systems like Canary Care and TruSense. These and similar systems alert caregivers or
emergency personnel when warning signs, such as long periods of inactivity by a
senior at home, arise.
3. (Virtual) Fellowship
Loneliness and social
isolation are particularly acute risk factors for elderly folks given their greater
likelihood of reduced mobility and loss of loved ones. In-person interactions
are ideal, but when they are not possible, email and video correspondence can
be helpful stopgaps. Indeed, encouraging research has shown that social media use is associated with
reduced loneliness and improved mental and physical health outcomes.
4. Picking up the Pace
Like anyone, seniors need
regular exercise to reach their full potential for living capably and
independently. Technology can help put them in motion and keep them active.
Wearable fitness trackers help seniors and their caregivers mark progress
toward wellness goals and document encouraging results.
5. “Telehealth”
Thanks to the emerging
tools of telemedicine, obtaining professional consultations no longer
requires leaving the comfort and security of home. Senior and hospice patients
can arrange virtual visits with physicians and other healthcare professionals. In discussion with U.S. News & World Report, Medical Director of Telemedicine at the University of
Pittsburgh Medical Center Dr. Andrew R. Watson emphasized telemedicine’s positive
impact on health outcomes and patient engagement.
The
benefits of telehealth tools for patients and healthcare providers include
reduced costs, fewer hospital readmissions, improved diagnosis and treatments,
and stronger relationships between doctors and patients, especially in rural
areas.
6. Brain Benefits
Finally, it turns out that
healthy amounts of screen time don’t rot your brain. On the contrary, internet browsing and even video games, the brain decay boogeyman of yesteryear, increase
elderly brain function and help reverse the bad mental effects of aging. The
takeaway here is that, quite apart from the other benefits we’ve discussed,
technology offers direct cognitive advantages to senior and hospice patients.
Digital tech is not the
most critical line of defense against health setbacks for the elderly and
hospice patients, let alone a cure-all. But as we have seen, it provides a
wealth of resources supporting family caregivers in their efforts to promote
the best possible outcomes for those in their capable hands.
_____________________________________________
Christian Golden, PhD, writes about tips and trends in digital
marketing and social media. He is a philosopher by day who loves teaching and
digging into the big questions. His extracurricular interests include making
music, reading comics, watching (really old) movies, and being in the great
outdoors.
Thursday, 2 August 2018
GUEST POST - Planning and Paying for Long-Term Care: A Guide for Seniors and Caregivers
Regardless of age, preparing and planning for
long-term care isn’t something most people think about. But, for a person over
the age of 65, it’s an important conversation to have. There is a 52 percent chance that they will
need long-term support and services. That means it is never too soon to start
planning how you want to handle that situation—for yourself and for loved ones.
Planning for long-term care is one step,
deciding how to pay for it is another. For seniors, preparing for this is
crucial to enjoying your golden years with independence and dignity. For family
members, planning for long-term care can help you understand your role as a caregiver.
In 2013, unpaid caregivers — mostly comprised
of family members — spent 37 billion hours providing long-term care. Being a
caregiver is rewarding, but can often be stressful and physically draining.
“Being a kind, compassionate caregiver is one
of the greatest gifts you can give to a senior loved one,” says June Duncan,
co-founder of Rise Up for Caregivers and author
of the upcoming book The Complete Guide
to Caregiving: A Daily Companion for New Senior Caregivers. While family
caregivers play an essential role in our society, they often do so without
much-needed support and guidance. June’s book fills that gap by offering a
helping hand on everything from how to assess your loved one’s medical needs to
how to work self-care into your busy days.
Self-care is just one aspect of planning for
long-term care. Planning out the potential steps can be a huge benefit to
seniors and their loved ones, even if they don’t wind up needing care at all.
You can plan for long-term care by:
●
Assessing the likelihood you or a loved one will require long-term
care. There are a few reasons long-term care could be
in your future. For example, if someone in your family suffered from hereditary
illnesses such as Alzheimer’s, you may be at a higher
risk. Be sure to plan for in-home care or pick out an assisted living facility
to help care for your needs.
●
Making lifestyle choices to reduce the risk of injury or onset of
illness. Regular exercise, a good diet and consistent
good sleep are three lifestyle choices that are critical for healthy seniors.
From prolonging the onset of dementia to promoting healthy knees, hips and
joints, all three impact your physical and mental health. Start walking, join a
gym or sign up for yoga classes.
●
Plan for future home modifications you need to make. Most seniors want to age in-place, meaning they want to stay in their
homes for as long as possible. Planning for long-term care means planning for independence and safety. If the
house is two-story, consider moving all essential rooms to the first floor.
Install non-slip flooring in bathrooms and kitchens. These modifications will
prevent accidents that could make long-term care a reality, as well as create a
home environment that supports independent living.
Planning for long-term care also involves
insight into the costs involved. Some ways to pay for long-term care include:
●
Retirement options. If you can, consider
postponing retirement and staying on at work for another year to boost up your
savings. You can also take out an additional retirement policy
specifically to cover potential health care issues.
●
Purchasing long-term care insurance. Many
insurance companies offer special long-term care insurance policies. Keep in
mind— the younger and healthier you are when you purchase this type of
insurance, the lower your premiums will be.
●
Selling a life insurance policy. Selling a life insurance policy can help pay
for daily living expenses and medical care. This can give you cash in hand to
cover the costs of an in-home caregiver, home modifications or medical
equipment you need that Medicare doesn’t cover.
Planning for long-term care is not a simple conversation to have, but it
doesn’t have to be too complicated if you start talking about it now. Make sure
your family and friends know your wishes, so that, if the time comes, you’ll
receive the care you want and deserve.
______________________
Contributed by: Marie Villeza, ElderImpact.
Friday, 20 July 2018
GUEST POST - Senior Wellness and Loss: Coping With the Death of a Spouse
Couples who have been married for a long time find ways to
cope with the idea that death will leave one of them bereaved and alone at some
point. Some ignore the thought; others keep the grief and pain of such an event
at arm’s length, seeing it as something that’s too far off to concern them.
It’s a shock no matter when that day comes, regardless of how well prepared you
might be. The sense of loss is so large and profound that it can be difficult
to comprehend and appreciate. But as the magnitude of what’s happened sets in,
the feeling of grief becomes
overwhelming. And it can take a long time before a grieving senior is
able to come to grips with his or her loss. Some never quite get there.
Grief exacts an emotional and physical toll heavy enough to
undermine a senior’s well-being and frame of mind if left unaddressed. It can
produce a state of depression so deep that it affects the ability to carry out
the simplest everyday tasks, such as dressing,
eating, and bathing. It may feel as though there’s no point in carrying on with
a life suddenly bereft of meaning. Once you reach this point, friends and
family members play an important role in helping seniors work through their
grief and achieve a sense of wellness.
Finding support
Your
ability to resume your quality of life depends on how successfully you cope
with your loss. If a year has come and gone and grief hasn’t dissipated, it’s
time to seek the support of others, perhaps someone close to you or individuals
who can relate to what you’re experiencing. Social interaction occupies your
mind and prevents your loss from consuming you. There’s a therapeutic quality
to sharing thoughts and feelings with other people. Seek out a support group with people who
understand how difficult it is to get over the loneliness you’re feeling.
Sometimes, just talking things through can help you acquire a new perspective
that makes all the difference.
Day to day
Feeling lost and depressed makes it very hard to function
from day to day. A bereaved person may neglect their appearance, hygiene, and everyday responsibilities that used
to come easy. If you’re struggling, seek out a loved one who can help with
paying bills, shopping for groceries, and seeing that your house is cleaned. Or
you might want to hire someone who can take care of the essentials for a while.
If things continue to worsen, consult your doctor about your grief and the
problems it’s creating in your life.
Self-care
Grieving spouses often neglect their own health and
well-being. Given the way you’re feeling, it may seem pointless to get enough
sleep, eat healthy foods, and get exercise. But self-care is essential if
you’re to find the strength to work through your grief and emerge a stronger person.
Try to avoid eating alone. It can accentuate your loneliness, so seek out
people to eat out with or invite over for a meal that you prepare together.
It will give you something to do and someone to socialize with.
Losing a spouse to addiction
Grief can be complicated when you’ve lost a spouse to addiction. Feelings of anger
toward your departed partner, guilt for not being able to help, and a
deep-seated longing for the life you’ve known may hit all at once. Seek help so
that you’re equipped to cope with the doubt that leaves you wondering what more
you could have done.
Transition
The loss of a spouse produces a torrent of emotion and
conflicting thoughts. How well you deal with the sorrow, anger, depression,
guilt, and loneliness that follows has a lot to do with how successfully you
make the transition to a new life. Remember that taking care of yourself and
seeking help when you need it can give you the strength to carry on.
____________________________
Contributed by: Karen Weeks, ElderWellness.net
Karen created ElderWellness.net as a resource for seniors who wish to keep their minds, bodies, and spirits well.
Tuesday, 3 July 2018
GUEST POST - Tips for Getting Better Sleep as you Age
Sleep is a necessary part of maintaining
your health even for seniors, who often sleep only a few hours a night. Experts
recommend seven to eight hours of sleep per
night for people over the age of 64, according to the National Sleep
Foundation.
Senior Care Corner agrees, writing that
some of the benefits of getting a full night’s
sleep as you age include:
●
Possibly
lowering risk of mental decline
●
Improved
cognitive abilities
●
Better
memory and concentration
Unfortunately, nearly one-third of seniors
report sleeping less than seven hours per night. If this is you, what can you
do get more sleep?
Finding
the Right Mattress
The first step to a good night’s sleep is
finding the right mattress for your needs, and that’s why it’s a good idea to
try the mattress first. If you are looking to save money by purchasing a mattress
online, CNET recommends you find a brand with a long history
that comes with a money-back guarantee. Some places will let you try a mattress
in your home for 30, 60, or even 120 days.
You should make sure your mattress
addresses any problems you have. For example, if you have lower back pain, you
may want to read this post from Spine Health. If you
get too hot when you sleep, you might want to investigate buying a “cool”
mattress, like these options from Sleep Advisor.
Preparing
for Sleep
Adults, like kids, should have a nighttime
routine that helps them wind down. Reading is one option, but don’t use an
electronic device before bed. It emits light that can disturb your sleep
patterns unless you use a blue light blocker found on many tablets or phones. Learn more about blue light at The
Sleep Doctor.
You should also make sure that your room is
set up to promote adequate sleep. Try room-darkening blinds if you have a
bright light source outside your bedroom. Make sure your room is the right
temperature and get a good pillow that supports your neck. You might also want
to try a white noise machine if you wake up frequently.
How
Diet and Exercise Impact Sleep
Diet and exercise can improve your sleep
habits as well:
●
Regular
exercise and activity work your body, but it also helps you feel tired at night
and allows you to sleep more soundly.
●
Caffeine
and spicy foods can keep you up, but research suggests that other foods, such as milk products, fish, fruit, and
vegetables, may promote sleep. More research needs to be done to confirm this,
but you may want to consider these healthy choices for your dinner.
●
Halting
liquids after 7:00 pm may
reduce the problem of frequent nighttime bathroom visits. However, if this is a
persistent problem, talk to your doctor to ensure there isn’t a medical
issue.
Napping
Helps Cognition
Another way to get adequate sleep is
napping. Research indicates several benefits of napping, including
better focus and improvement in mood and performance. However, naps should not
be longer than 30 minutes; the longer the nap, the higher the risk of falling
into a deep sleep, making it very hard for you to wake up. On the other hand,
naps of at least 10 to 15 minutes have been shown to improve alertness and
cognition.
When
Sleep Becomes a Struggle
If you’ve been
struggling to get or stay asleep for several months, it’s likely time to see
your doctor for help. Prolonged reduced sleep can impair your brain functioning
as well as your physical health. Learn more about possible sleep disorders from
Harvard Medical’s Healthy Sleep website.
If you are having sleep issues, try these
recommendations or consult with your physician for
more help.
____________________________________
Contributed by: Karen Weeks, ElderWellness.net
Karen
created ElderWellness.net as a resource for seniors who wish to keep their
minds, bodies, and spirits well.
Friday, 8 June 2018
Celebrating Seniors
Every June is Seniors Month in Ontario. June 2018 is the 34th year we celebrate seniors and their contributions to our province and our lives through a month of activities and events geared to highlight and involve seniors and their families. Every year the government announces a theme and this year is no different. "Now's the time to start something new," highlights how aging does not prevent any of us from leading fulfilling lives. Seniors continue to contribute to our community and we can all benefit from their wisdom, friendship, and experience. " (from www.ontario.ca/page/celebrating-seniors-ontario).
If you have a senior in your life, encourage them to attend or participate in activities in their community. If that is not possible, or in addition, have your own private celebration with them. While celebrating our senior loved ones is something we should do every day, its nice to have a reminder every now and then and an excuse to do something special for them.
If you have someone in your life that you wish to honor in some way, have a look at the site
www.ontario.ca/page/celebrating-seniors-ontario for links to information on the award nomination process for the Ontario Senior Achievement Award and the Ontario Senior of the Year Award. There is also information on that website about how you can request congratulatory messages for a milestone occasion from the Queen, Lieutenant Governor, PM of Canada and Premier of Ontario.
If you have a senior in your life, encourage them to attend or participate in activities in their community. If that is not possible, or in addition, have your own private celebration with them. While celebrating our senior loved ones is something we should do every day, its nice to have a reminder every now and then and an excuse to do something special for them.
If you have someone in your life that you wish to honor in some way, have a look at the site
www.ontario.ca/page/celebrating-seniors-ontario for links to information on the award nomination process for the Ontario Senior Achievement Award and the Ontario Senior of the Year Award. There is also information on that website about how you can request congratulatory messages for a milestone occasion from the Queen, Lieutenant Governor, PM of Canada and Premier of Ontario.
Monday, 28 May 2018
Technology and Seniors
Is technology isolating seniors? Is the very thing that makes the lives easier for younger people actually making life increasingly difficult for the older generation? I read an article today indicating that with advances in technology, and a need for us to be 'connected' to do things like banking and accessing other types of services, seniors who are not tech-savvy are becoming isolated. If you start paying attenition to things around us that we need and use technology for, it does become apparent that those who are not willing or able to learn how to use it, can have a harder time functioning in today's world.
We get calls all the time from seniors who do not have access to a computer or know how to use one. Even seniors who do have computers may be unable to do anything beyond email and Facebook. Navigating websites are beyond challenging for some people and many don't want to put sensitive banking or credit card information into a website. Many scams target seniors through email and it makes many wary of the internet and computers and all that goes with it.
That being said, there are wonderful advances that can make life easier for seniors, keeping them safe in their home and connected to family that live far away and can't visit regularly. Unfortunately, many are afraid or think that they are too old to learn something new.
The solution may be as simple as offering opportunities to learn about technology in venues that seniors frequent. Community Centres, libraries and Senior's Centres are all perfect locations to offer up introductory courses. Encouraging seniors to take simple courses and perhaps showing them how you can do things easily on a laptop or tablet, might make all the differnce to them. For those who run seniors venues, consider offering courses on using email, using Facebook and Skype, using banking websites and other targeted technology /computer related topics. As we move towards more 'age-friendly' communities and initiatives, introducing seniors to technology and helping them learn the benefits should be one of the priorities under consideration.
We get calls all the time from seniors who do not have access to a computer or know how to use one. Even seniors who do have computers may be unable to do anything beyond email and Facebook. Navigating websites are beyond challenging for some people and many don't want to put sensitive banking or credit card information into a website. Many scams target seniors through email and it makes many wary of the internet and computers and all that goes with it.
That being said, there are wonderful advances that can make life easier for seniors, keeping them safe in their home and connected to family that live far away and can't visit regularly. Unfortunately, many are afraid or think that they are too old to learn something new.
The solution may be as simple as offering opportunities to learn about technology in venues that seniors frequent. Community Centres, libraries and Senior's Centres are all perfect locations to offer up introductory courses. Encouraging seniors to take simple courses and perhaps showing them how you can do things easily on a laptop or tablet, might make all the differnce to them. For those who run seniors venues, consider offering courses on using email, using Facebook and Skype, using banking websites and other targeted technology /computer related topics. As we move towards more 'age-friendly' communities and initiatives, introducing seniors to technology and helping them learn the benefits should be one of the priorities under consideration.
Thursday, 10 May 2018
GUEST POST - Ways to Provide Long-Distance Senior Care
Whether
you’ve moved or your parents have relocated to a retirement or nursing home,
caring for them from afar provides a means of staying connected. There are some
ways to make the best of your circumstances and ensure that your loved ones are
well-taken care of, even if you live hundreds or thousands of miles apart.
Stay In Touch
No
matter how old you get, you’ll always be a child in your parent’s eyes. They’ve
raised you, and though you are living on your own, it's important to give back by taking the time
to communicate with them as often as you can. According to Psychology Today, estrangement is more common
than we may think. As many as 7 percent of children are estranged from their
mothers, while 27 percent don’t communicate with their fathers. Approximately
60 percent of the estranged parents and children wish to procure a relationship
with their relatives, according to The Spruce.
Regardless
of the type of relationship you have, communication is key. Thanks to modern
technology, we can easily talk on the phone, on Skype, via instant message or
through social media. Apps such as AARP Caregiving allow you to stay in touch
and keep track of health records and other services (like doctor’s visits) all
in one easy place so you can juggle important tasks all at once. Other modes of
communication, such as the lost art of letter writing, shows a more intimate means
of displaying affection for your loved ones. Remember, even if your loved ones
are living in a senior community, they want to hear from you.
Seek Help From Others
You
may have your own family to look after while you also take long-distance care
of an elderly relative, which makes it difficult to do it all alone. Even if
they receive care in a nursing home or assisted living facility, enlist the
help of friends, family and even healthcare providers to ease some of the
burden.
Additionally,
it is important to ensure that your parent has an adequate ride to and from
their residence. Even if they receive assistance from their care facility with
errands like picking up medication and groceries, your loved one should have a
way to leave for social outings. There are many options available, such as public transportation services, Lyft/Uber and even senior shuttles, that will provide transportation at a discount so your loved one
will be able to maintain his or her independence.
Nutrition and Fitness
If
your loved one resides in a senior living community, they should have plenty of
options for eating healthful meals and getting physical activity. You can
further ensure their overall wellness by arming them with healthy-living tools
from afar. For example, you can send your mother who is reluctant to attend her
water aerobics classes, seeds, soil, flower pots, and a spade so she can burn
some calories through gardening. If your father’s freezer is
loaded with sodium-filled TV dinners, sign him up for a meal or grocery delivery service to encourage him to eat and if possible, cook healthy (and delicious) meals.
Ensuring
that your loved one’s life remains as fulfilling as possible even when you
aren’t physically there can be tricky. It’s important to consider your time and
be open to the help of others so that your elderly parent remains as happy and
healthy as possible.
Contributed by: Marie Villeza, ElderImpact.
Friday, 20 April 2018
Daily Check Ins
There was an article this week about an unfortunate event that happened a year ago. Presumably, it took so long for people to hear about it becuase the family could not get the answers they wanted by dealing with the home directly, so they went to the press. An elderly man who resided in an independent retirement home died of natural causes in his room but, he wasn't found by the home for several days and only after a concerned resident alerted them to the fact that she hadn't seen him in a while. The issue wasn't that he died, as sad as that was for his family; it was that no one noticed he hadn't been at his meals for days.
One of the reasons people move to retirement homes is for the peace-of-mind that something like this doesn't happen, especially if all meals are included in your package. That no one noticed that this man was missing is very concerning. While independent people do go to retirement home settings, one would hope that there is a system in place to ensure something like this doesn't happen. We can only hope that learning from this experience will ensure no other resident or family has to go through this sort of thing again.
For families and potential residents of retirement homes, when you tour a home ask if there is a system to check on residents if they miss a meal. Is there a "buddy system" so residents check in with one other person daily? I recently read about a home for independent residents that has a door knob notification system; residents put a card on their door knobs when they go to bed and remove it in the morning. If someone spots a card when there isn't supposed to be one, they alert staff. Ask about the call bell system - if they wear a pendant there is less of a chance that they won't be able to alert someone if they are feeling ill. If there are not call bells in the room or if meals are not included in the home you go to, can you purchase a call bell pendant system privately on your own? Can you and other family members arrange to check in with your loved one daily? I know of seniors who live alone who have set up their own call system with friends in the same situation; one phone call or phone signal of so many rings at a certain time every day alerts their friend that they are okay. Not getting that call at the same time one day, is cause for alarm and leads to a chain of events to ensure the person is fine.
For retirement homes that do not have a system in place to ensure people are okay daily, it's time to create one. I know years ago there was a home that created a card swiping system; a bit like what they have on cruise ships actually. When people went to a meal, their card was swiped at the door. If they didn't make it to a meal, the computer system alerted the staff of this and someone went to check on the person. A great system as long as residents are cognitively alert and able to remember their cards every time they go down to the dining room. While this is proably an elaborate and costly system that would not work for many settings or residents, I'm sure there are other effective ways to monitor residents' safety that homes can consider, enabiling them to ensure that the people they are meant to look after, are indeed connected to the staff and/or other residents.
One of the reasons people move to retirement homes is for the peace-of-mind that something like this doesn't happen, especially if all meals are included in your package. That no one noticed that this man was missing is very concerning. While independent people do go to retirement home settings, one would hope that there is a system in place to ensure something like this doesn't happen. We can only hope that learning from this experience will ensure no other resident or family has to go through this sort of thing again.
For families and potential residents of retirement homes, when you tour a home ask if there is a system to check on residents if they miss a meal. Is there a "buddy system" so residents check in with one other person daily? I recently read about a home for independent residents that has a door knob notification system; residents put a card on their door knobs when they go to bed and remove it in the morning. If someone spots a card when there isn't supposed to be one, they alert staff. Ask about the call bell system - if they wear a pendant there is less of a chance that they won't be able to alert someone if they are feeling ill. If there are not call bells in the room or if meals are not included in the home you go to, can you purchase a call bell pendant system privately on your own? Can you and other family members arrange to check in with your loved one daily? I know of seniors who live alone who have set up their own call system with friends in the same situation; one phone call or phone signal of so many rings at a certain time every day alerts their friend that they are okay. Not getting that call at the same time one day, is cause for alarm and leads to a chain of events to ensure the person is fine.
For retirement homes that do not have a system in place to ensure people are okay daily, it's time to create one. I know years ago there was a home that created a card swiping system; a bit like what they have on cruise ships actually. When people went to a meal, their card was swiped at the door. If they didn't make it to a meal, the computer system alerted the staff of this and someone went to check on the person. A great system as long as residents are cognitively alert and able to remember their cards every time they go down to the dining room. While this is proably an elaborate and costly system that would not work for many settings or residents, I'm sure there are other effective ways to monitor residents' safety that homes can consider, enabiling them to ensure that the people they are meant to look after, are indeed connected to the staff and/or other residents.
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